Adventures in Babysitting

By the way, great 80s movie. What 12 year old boy wouldn't think Elizabeth Shue was hawt?! Between that and Karate Kid...anyway, I digress.

So, I was asked by a friend a few days ago if I could watch his four-year-old son and two-year-old daughter Friday (yesterday). Being the great friend that I am, I said yes. After his initial shock wore off, my friend said, "Are you sure?" to which I responded, "Let me think about it. Actually, no...YES, it's fine!" I guess he thought he was getting Punk'd. I figured what else does a 31-year-old unemployed dude have better to do. If anything I was thrilled to finally be able to say I found a job. Hey, small victories...

I got up Friday morning at 5:45, went to the Y, did legs and some cardio, came home, and got ready for the big day. I don't write all that to contribute to the story, but just to brag that I - despite my incredible physique - work out. Anyway, with my own four kids set for the day, we welcomed our guests (who will remain anonymous for their protection) around 8:45. Some favorite moments/highlights:

• Nap time
• The doorbell at 5:15 pm
  

Always keen on the teachable moments life affords me, I made a few discoveries along the way:

• "They already pooped this morning, so you should be good" is no guarantee.
• Toy screwdrivers really hurt when they are twisted on your arm.
• Carrot sticks dipped in ice cream isn't half bad.
• Cap'n Crunch (actually the Malt O' Meal generic...hey, we're on a tight budget) is a bad idea for afternoon snack. The box (or bag, in this case) should be clearly labeled in big letters "Parental Warning: SUGARCRACK."
• The back of my computer chair can withstand downward pressure exerted by 45 lbs. of sugarcrack-infused kid.
• Little girls are made of sugar (crack) and spice and everything...stinky.
• Tarzan & Jane is a great movie...to fall asleep to.
• Benadryl and Tylenol PM can easily pass as jelly beans.
  
• The hair from my cat's tail comes out really easily.
• The words "Watch dis!" when used exceedingly can actually make your ears bleed.

Actually, we had a great day together, and the kids had a blast playing together (OK, I played some, too!). It reminded me of what a privilege it is to be at home with my kids during this season of transition. But the best thing I learned is that kids, even other peoples', are a true blessing from God. I want to thank my friends for trusting me and giving me the privilege of spending the day with your precious treasures. I know how hard it can be to entrust your kids to other people.

That'll be $50.

Yeah, per kid.

Stomach Viruses Suck

Nothin' more to say.

Not Cut Out

I'm not cut out to be a worship leader.

• I'm not 23, 165 pounds, freshly married, and just found out I'm gonna be a dad.
• I don't wear slim jeans, graphic t-shirts, and vintage bowling shoes.
• I don't sculpt my hair to be intentionally uneven and randomly spiked (a la Edward Scissorhands).
  
• I don't play every worship song in B (actually, capoed 4 in G...)
• I don't have a conspicuous tattoo to demonstrate my loyalty to Jesus Christ.
  
• I don't listen to Coldplay or U2 every day for songwriting inspiration.
  
• When I sing worship songs, I don't mysteriously acquire a British accent.

Nope. I'm not cut out to be a worship leader.

DC Pro Sports Playoffs and American Idol

Aside from the NFL's single elimination "lose and go home" playoff system, most other pro sports employ a "best of ___" series of games with the higher seed enjoying the home court advantage.

Being a homer sports fan (i.e. Redskins, Wizards, Capitals, and Orioles - sorry Nats!), I'm thrilled that both the Wizards and Caps are in the playoffs right now. The Caps - not having sniffed the playoffs in years - went on a tear to steal the Southeast Division, earning the third seed in the process. They started strong winning Game 1, but tossed the next three and were on the brink of elimination. They got their mojo back and won the last two games to force Game 7...tonight.

The Wizards thought they had a lot of mojo with Agent Zero and the rest of the team finally being healthy. They were practically salivating at the chance to face King James and his "subjects," otherwise known as the Cleveland Cavaliers, who just so happened to knock the Wiz out of the playoffs the last two seasons. Lots of bad blood here. Terms like "overrated" and "everybody wants to play them in the first round" were thrown around by some Wiz players. The Wiz promptly went out and laid two eggs (losing last night by 30) and will head back to DC down 0-2. It remains to be seen if Cleveland will indeed be the new manifestation of the "Curse O' Les Boulez."

[Sports Off. Pop Culture On]

American Idol would be savvy to follow the lead of their sports counterparts by seeding the Top 12 and employ the "best of ____" series as they whittle down their contestants. They could extend their "season" and kill the competition with their ratings. This approach would give an opportunity for more celebrity coaches and allow us, the voters, to observe who blossoms the most musically.

By lower seeds facing higher seeds, the more musically talented entries have a higher chance of facing off instead getting tossed after an average night or poor song selection, or - worse yet - suffering at the fickleness of call-in voters that cast their ballots like they're voting in a middle school election instead of a talent competition. Popularity wins one while ability wins the other. By the way, I'm boycotting Idol if Carly Smithson gets eliminated (blog teaser).

Whatever. Unemployment gives you a lot of time to think about random things.

All this to say, what should I watch tonight - Game 7 of Caps vs. Flyers (elimination game) or American Idol (glorified middle school election)? Pretend TiVo doesn't exist...

Things That Make You Go "Hmmm..."

So, I read a few blogs. Not a lot, but a few. Most of them have to do with ministry or church stuff. One peculiarity I've noticed is that the more "successful" the blogger appears to be, the more they seem to blog, sometimes multiple times a day. Makes me wonder where they find all that time if they're so busy tearing down the gates of hell.

Hmmm...

Breaking Stereotypes

So, my significant other recently blogged about what a great wife I am. While I am guilty as charged, it got me thinking about the stereotypes we attribute to people. Some, of course, are earned while others are a product of ignorance.

[Side rant on] Why has the word "ignorance" come to mean something offensive? It means uneducated, uninformed, or unaware. Hmmm, I'm awfully ignorant about a lot!! [Side rant off]

So, I've embraced and made a goal of being a great wife...at least in the eyes of one person whose opinion really matters to me. Thing is, I'm an unemployed 31-year-old guy that:

• ... thinks farting is cool and should be socially acceptable, if not encouraged
  
• ...loves to watch sports hours on end (yes, honey, there's another game coming on...)
• ...likes to play guitars really loud (wish my amp went to 11)
  
• ...wishes on some level he could be Bruce Willis' character from the Die Hard movies
• ...defines "basic physical necessities" as (in no particular order) oxygen, water, food, shelter, guitars, and sex
  
• ...and thinks that doing "bunny hair" for a toddler is some form of medieval torture. Or the more PC phrase "cruel and unusual punishment. Either would be accurate.

Not exactly the profile of your common wife.

Let the revolution begin!

75-49

Hokies win big...again. Next up - Ole Miss at the Cassell in the quarterfinals.